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Funny Retirement Cards

Retiring from work means more time for church, and the church already knows it. Our cast celebrates retirement honestly: Pastor Hollis says you’ve earned all seven days, and Miss Opal has your Wednesday nights planned.

Send one to a retiring pastor, church secretary, music minister or any church friend leaving a long career. Each card opens to the punchline, with your note printed below.

This collection has 10 funny retirement ecards from Pastor Hollis, Gloria, Bernice, Pastor Josh, Miss Opal, Pastor Kevin, Mrs. Fern, Elder Clyde, Caleb and Grace. Each one opens with a click: the front sets up the joke and the punchline waits inside, with your personal note printed right underneath. Add their name, write your note, and send it by email or text, right away or scheduled for the day. Cards are $2.99 each, with a 5-card pack and an annual pass if you send a lot of them.

10 cards · $2.99 each · personalize and send in minutes

Pastor Hollis retirement card: “He rested on the seventh day.” Genesis 2:2Pastor Hollis · Retirement“He rested on the seventh day.” Genesis 2:2Gloria retirement card: You’re retiring. Gloria calls it a rest.Gloria · RetirementYou’re retiring. Gloria calls it a rest.Bernice retirement card: Bless you. You’re retiring.Bernice · RetirementBless you. You’re retiring.Pastor Josh retirement card: You’re retiring. Pastor Josh has an idea.Pastor Josh · RetirementYou’re retiring. Pastor Josh has an idea.Miss Opal retirement card: You’re retiring. Miss Opal has plans for you.Miss Opal · RetirementYou’re retiring. Miss Opal has plans for you.Pastor Kevin retirement card: You’re retiring. Pastor Kevin is jealous.Pastor Kevin · RetirementYou’re retiring. Pastor Kevin is jealous.Mrs. Fern retirement card: You’re retiring. Mrs. Fern is not.Mrs. Fern · RetirementYou’re retiring. Mrs. Fern is not.Elder Clyde retirement card: You’re retiring. Elder Clyde has noted it.Elder Clyde · RetirementYou’re retiring. Elder Clyde has noted it.Caleb retirement card: You’re retiring. Caleb thinks that’s awesome.Caleb · RetirementYou’re retiring. Caleb thinks that’s awesome.Grace retirement card: You’re retiring. Grace has a question.Grace · RetirementYou’re retiring. Grace has a question.

What to write in a funny retirement card